I've been having a bit of trouble updating things recently - it was impossible for me to access the site because the service gave me a new package which was very nice of them and a bit weird considering I never asked for it. I don't know why things are always being improved, it's not as if anything ever gets better. I've already railed against wide flat-screen TVs (short fat people with stumpy little legs, cars that are twice as wide as they are high etc.) so I'll limit myself to FM radio - perfect reception, too much top end, compression that makes the breathing in between the talking louder than the actual talking, all the hits of the sixties played off badly mastered CDs of crummy stereo mixes that were done as an afterthought for the hifi nerds of the time. And badly mastered means that a load of top end that was never meant to be there has been added ready for the radio transmitter to turn into a fizzy abortion.
Did I say abortion? That'll all be over if McCain gets in. God bless America etc. I hope every American reading this is at least registered to vote. As long as successive American governments continue to act like a fat bully boy in a school playground I think everyone on the planet should have a vote in the US election. But most of us don't have the vote so please think about us and use your vote.
And if you don't vote don't dare to complain about anything ever again!!!

We're in Chicago at the moment. The Chicago Reader has a nice preview of the show tonight but the guy says that my curmudgeonlyness would be a bit much to take if it wasn't for the fact that I'm 'so damned tuneful'. So tonight I'm going to be affable and tuneless because I'm a contrary so and so. And I'm going to try not to be a curmudgeon for at least ten minutes!
Amy and I had quite a debate about affable over breakfast this morning. In terms of undesireability I think we agreed that the order should go personable, genial, affable, with affable being the worst. I'm still not sure whether personable is worse than genial. I wouldn't like to be described as either. And affable has a hint of oaf about it so that's definitely the worst.
But getting back to the chicago reader, it's great to be described as tuneful after years of crap by journalists trotting out stuff about me not being able to sing. It's enough to turn a man genial from ear to ear.
I should be talking about the great shows, the wonderful emails of support we have, what a great job Stiff Records are doing (yes, they really are), how we've had reams of positive press over here, how everyone loves the album and our live shows, how we just had a four star review in Mojo etc... But I want to go for a piss and there isn't a rest room in this Starbuck joint (only place with wifi round here). So I'm leaving as soon as I've uploaded this stuff. I hope I don't get arrested for pissing in an alleyway.

I knew this blasted uncurmudgeonlyness wouldn't last long.

Thanks to everyone who's helped us along on this tour! xxx

I don’t want to hear that stuff - a band should always strive to give the impression that they arrived in a space craft. Unless they’re a blues band, and then I want to know that they arrived in a Bedford van having spent the night in a lay-by, sleeping in ex-army sleeping bags on top of the amplifiers. The only band I've ever witnessed transgressing rule number three was a Brighton band called The Electric Soft Parade. Their frontman said yeah cheers so often I lost count. The Electric Soft Parade weren't very good. The Dykeenies were but the singer said cheers after the first three numbers so I gave up. Actually that’s not quite true - I was getting cold and I had to go and get organised for my cameo appearance.

I don't know what to say about The Proclaimers shows without sounding corny, trite or bland. Someone who isn't reading this carefully might leave under the impression that I'm using those adjectives to describe The Proclaimers but I'm not - they could never be any of those. So I have to resort to fabulous, fantastic, they went out with a bang etc...
I've probably said it all already anyway. Erika Nockalls played the violin on Sunshine On Leith wearing a green satin frock. I played my green Microfret guitar on Whole Wide World. So there was a bit of colour co-ordination - a matching his 'n' hers Eric section.
Anyway, they were talking about getting together to record a new album beginning next March. I can hardly wait.

There's loads more to talk about but if I start on that I'll get bogged down in it so I think I'll stop now and put this on the site without finishing it off...